1. |
Hyperfocus
03:05
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Holy fucking shit man I forgot to clean my house
When you came by
Things get messy when I write
Paranoid Tuesday night, and you calmed me down
I fuck witchu
But I dont make love to you
I’m hyper focused on you
Is that shitty thing to do?
catching feelings with a friend
Does it work out in the end?
Hyper focused, often manic
Yes I’m crushin’ and it’s tragic
Matching hearts at different volume
Bad-ass playlist in my bedroom
Holy fucking shit man I forgot to clean my car
When I swooped you up
At the liquor store by your place
I could lay around and listen to you sing for hours
You’re so dang cute
Hard to maintain my cool
Around you
[bridge]
Hyper focused[woop], often manic[woop woop]
Probly crushin’ and it’s tragic
Matching hearts at different volume
Bad-ass playlist in my bedroom
Where we’re both most comfortable
Anxious minds left at the door
As I hold you, fuck, it’s tempting
Kiss your lips, begin the ending
Holy fucking shit man, it’s been a whole month since we talked
I miss your face
But understand why you had to go
My fancy new pronouns sure make me feel more like myself
Your hula hoop
Makes me feel like an asshole
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2. |
Bowie Gay
03:14
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Cocaine, in my brain, makes me feel kind of insane
Shave my beard, keep it queer, paint my nails, dance in the rain
Tryina’ Riot, got no Room
Out here howlin’ at the moon
At 5 AM, ‘cause Nazis suck, but my actions are fucked up
Culture sucks, I’m confused,
I crave acceptance, but from who?
My cousin told me pick a lane
Bi-erasure is insane
Neither masculine nor femme
But I’d like to play pretend
Miller latte in my hand
Fuckin tired of being a man
[...by now I should know
How to keep it on the level
When all I want to do is feel connected
[And maybe sex stuff]
Does it matter with who?
Now I’m scared to lose my friends
I’m causing tension in my band
my parents would still love me
would they try to understand?
Feel like a tornado with arms
lost in a Walmart parking lot
“Yeah that hobo isn’t pretty
But he sure does talk a lot”
Paranoid when i’m at work
I should probly take my meds
Think I’m actin a like fool
Or maybe I’m just in my head
Hallucinating in the shower
On a Monday afternoon
Don’t think I would hurt a person
at this rate, could happen soon
[...it all starts to blur
And nothing matters anymore
just want to show externally
The way I’m feeling
How am I feeling?]
“Pretty unstable, if I’m being honest”
And I’m out here counting the toll
Of my most recent episode
Mindfulness and medication
Won’t repair the devastation
That i’ve inflicted on my friend
I’ll love them till the bitter end
lock me up
I’m out of control
I want to do right by you
doubt that I’m able to
love or to be loved
[In any healthy sense of the word]
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3. |
Chasing Soup
03:59
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Now it's winter time, gotta cop me a second opinion
Got presents wrapped under the Christmas tree
no paper to wrap up my copay fee
stewin' solo, thoughts are congealin'
knew the words, but lost on the meaning
stomach's twisted, splattered on the ceiling
a sip of you could change how I'm feelin'
your touch is hot on my lips
spoon-fed deliciousness, uh
watch you eat is none of my business
but I only eat soup around Christmas
lentil soup
cream mushroom
chicken noods
whatever soup you choose
good food
don't wanna stir your pot
but when I don't you get all sticky
I'm hot and cold, I'm left on the backburner
told me turn the heat down, I'm a bad learner
steam whispers secrets in my nostils
wise men, hare Krishna's and apostles
flying cars, healthcare and stability
just eat soup, it's all a possibility
your touch is hot on my lips
spoon-fed deliciousness, uh
watch you eat is none of my business
but I only eat soup around Christmas
lentil soup
cream mushroom
chicken noods
whatever soup you choose
good food
I can't keep chasing soup
[I can't fucking keep chasing soup]
yeah I see you eat that shit, that shit is fucking trash
me, I eat soup and I piss out of my ass
you should eat some soup, you've got no fucking class
me I eat soup and I piss out of my ass
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4. |
Lonely
03:01
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Lonely. Nobody wants to feel lonely
But everybody feels lonely sometimes
And that makes me feel less lonely
Only time will tell a true intention
Flowers watered, reinvention of self
And with some good luck, your surroundings
[lonely, all your fault]
Feeling pretty good right now
But I’m prolly gonna feel bad later
Living in the hood right now
Keeping eyes on my meth head neighbor
Patience is a virtue, dude
And I have virtually none to spare
Take a breath and slow it down
Take some time to do a little self-care
Show me, on the roadmap where I burned you
Cause I’d like to be a radiant dude
But social cues confuse me
Lonely. Acting out because I’m lonely
Writing songs because I’m lonely as hell
And I’m desperate for attention
[chorus]
Lonely. Nobody wants to feel lonely
But everybody feels lonely sometimes
And that makes me feel less lonely
Lonely. Acting out because you’re lonely
Writing songs because you’re lonely as hell
And it makes you feel less lonely
[and I did this to myself
And blamed it on my mental health
Do you wanna go daytrippin’
Somewhere w/ stars in the sky?
Crack a roadie on the way in my car//
Shift the gears while I drive]
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5. |
Vicious Cycle
04:32
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I wanna move in with my parents
Hit the reset button
But I’m sure that they’d say no
Cause I’m a toxic asshole
And my habits are starting to show
Maybe church, maybe rehab
Maybe just a different bar
Don’t wanna be your burden
I’d rather just sleep in my car
But it’s way too full of trash
Don’t fuck with my dog, man
Don’t fuck with my stash
Having a ball man,
This shit is a blast
Stuck in a rat race
I’m not gonna last
Every single part of my life
Is a vicious cycle
And i’m cyclin’ back for more
Watch me spiral downward
Till’ I’m knockin on your door
Yeah I crave salvation
But I need hair of the dog
That bit me with my permission
[Cause] Every single part of my life
Is a vicious cycle
And i’m cyclin’ back for more
Watch me spiral downward
Until I pass out on the floor
Three cheers for springtime
And for blessings from above
That I’m bound to squander
While I’m out here lookin for
[love, drugs and alcohol]
Don’t make me feel better after all
I wanna buy a shitty van
Hit the fucking highway
Every night a badass show
But It’s just not convenient
For my best friend that I used to know
Guess he’s fuckin’ my ex now
Couldn’t give a shit or a fuck
Cause they deserve each other
And I’m feeling up on my luck
Oh! This unfortunate crown
I’ve suffered enough, man, it’s coming around
I’m coming up, hunting down peace of mind
You’re gettin’ yours, man, and I’m gettin mine
Cause every single part of my life is a vicious cycle
[Do you want to go daytrippin somewhere with stars in the sky?]
[I don’t have time for my video games anymore]
[Do you miss me the way your mom does?]
Every single part of my life
And i’m cyclin’ back for more
Watch me spiral downward
Until I pass out on the floor
Three cheers for springtime
And for blessings from above
That I’m bound to squander
[Cause] Every single part of my life
Is a vicious cycle
And i’m cyclin’ back for more
Watch me spiral downward
Until I pass out on the floor
Three cheers for springtime
And for blessings from above
That I’m bound to squander
While I’m out here lookin for
[love, drugs and alcohol]
Don’t make me feel better after all
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6. |
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berate me
make me feel just like a fool
emasculate me
to all my friends at the pool
and I'm hustling
tryin my hardest not to get caught
and I'm bustin'
cause everyone cums a little harder when they're in love than when they're not
and I'm sipping on a case of white claws w/ lime green ribbons
two weeks down the line and I'm fine cause you deserved it
every line of contact, you know that I burned it
I caught you red-fucking-handed
I don't need your lovin' cause the #soupgang has landed
on the surface with a purpose like the chosen, solid food is fucking trash unless it's frozen
I'm coming around and I'm finding out
time alone is not so bad
I'm lost and found, I feel like myself again
time alone is not so bad
it's not so bad
and I'm wasted on any given afternoon
and I'm faced with a choice or two to be choosing soon
what's it laced with?
these modern drugs are hard to trust
I tasted a taste of love that turned to rust
I'm cold as ice, tryina get it in while the gettin gets nice
my sister says I'm acting more like my father,
and I'm pretending what she says doesn't bother me
and Daniel gonna go and lay some floors
and I'll continue fucking blowing off my chores
til four AM, in my pit of a room
I'd be full of fucking shit if I said I didn't miss you
[but then I jerk off
and I don't
anymore]
I'm coming around and I'm finding out
time alone is not so bad
I'm lost and found, I feel like myself again
time alone is not so bad
it's not so bad
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Cuddle Puddle Kansas City, Missouri
Some drips and some drops, muddled in a puddle.
Funk with feelings, and fruits that needs peeling
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